After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
