things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize