In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He called his prostate his "boner button".
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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