It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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