i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
