I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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