just tell him i said nine months
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
