I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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