Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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