I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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