You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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