You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
