I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
