That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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