Are we in a gay sports bar?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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