forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
