Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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