I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
