it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
