took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize