It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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