I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
