dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
