I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
