the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
soo... how was my night?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
