bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
