you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
false alarm. still invincible.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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