No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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