me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
