Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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