to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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