I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
