Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I intend to get homeless drunk
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
