I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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