you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
