my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
