We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
