i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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