so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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