He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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