she smelled like a LAN party
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
