Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
