His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
