I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
