next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
