we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
