I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
