Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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