READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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