I heard we made out
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
