I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
