i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
