Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
