her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Operation Purity has been aborted
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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