singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
