Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
