accomplished twins. life is a go
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
