He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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