Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
